Global economics demystified

December 30, 2005 at 12:34 pm 2 comments

If this doesn’t beat the economics you learnt in school I don’t know what else will! This is called theory in practice, thanks to an e-mail from a friend (it ain’t my own original creation)!
 
1. SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

2. COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

3. FASCISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

4. NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

5. BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away…

6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

7. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

8. A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

9. A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

10. A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

11. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

12. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

13. A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

14. A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

15. AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

16. A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

17. A KENYAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You eat both.

 


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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Nice act chief, but how about the fat cats of big time sleaze elsewhere? Beware of BT automobiles, 5th floor, HFCK building

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mary  |  December 30, 2005 at 10:48 pm

    Hi Jesse,

    I have just read this with a lot of interest and often I like to make sense out of things. The whole idea knocks some sense unto me and tells me that in our system we not concern withthe future.

    Similarly,I get the idea that systems are unique to countries.We need not to dream for a perfect constitution and also we can avoid using a model from any country.

    In other words, no system is good what is important is the vision of the country.

    Reply
  • 2. Jesse  |  December 30, 2005 at 10:49 pm

    Hi Mary –

    I would pay anything to have the kind of mind-set you have ingrained in our national psyche.

    Reply

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Kenyan Analyst

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